Critical Spuds (Mashed Potatoes)
Ingrediants
6 - Medium russet potatoes
2 teaspoons - Salt
½ cup - Milk
4 tablespoons - Butter or margarine (softened)
1 teaspoon - Pepper
12 - Small mushrooms
2 - Red bell peppers (cored, seeded and sliced)
Assorted vegetables - Broccoli, zucchini, carrots, etc.
Ketchup
Additional melted butter
Preparation
Peel off potato skins with a vegetable peeler. Cut potatoes into quarters and put them in a large pot 3/4 full of cold water. Add 1 teaspoon of salt to the water, cover the pot and boil for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the potatoes are soft.
Using a slotted spoon, carefully remove potatoes from the hot water and place in a large mixing bowl. Add the milk, butter, pepper and the remaining teaspoon of salt. Beat with an electric mixer for 3 to 4 minutes, or until light and fluffy.
Spoon a mound of potatoes onto individual plates. Allow to cool slightly. Then, using clean hands, sculpt a human head on each plate. Using vegetables of your choice, add eyes, a nose and a mouth to each head. Try mushrooms for eyes, red pepper slices for lips, broccoli for hair or mustaches, etc. Using a blunt knife, slash a gash down the side of each head. Pour ketchup (blood) into each gash and dribble on melted-butter for a deliciously disgusting side dish!
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Spaghetti and Eyeballs
Ingrediants
Eyeballs
1 ½ pounds - Ground beef
1 cup - Seasoned bread crumbs
1 tablespoon - Ketchup
1 - Egg
¼ teaspoon - Pepper
½ teaspoon - Oregano
7 ounces - Olives (pimento-stuffed)
Spaghetti and Sauce
14 ounces - Spaghetti sauce
3 quarts - Water
1 teaspoon - Salt
8 ounces - Spaghetti
2 tablespoons - Butter or margarine
Preparation
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix the ground beef, bread crumbs, ketchup, egg, pepper and oregano in a large bowl. Then form the meat mixture into about 18 to 24 eyeball-sized balls. Press an olive into each ball, pimento side out. Place the eyeballs in a baking dish, cover them with spaghetti sauce and bake for 45 minutes.
About 15 minutes before the eyeballs are done, fill a large pot with 3 quarts of water. Add salt. Set on medium heat and follow package directions to cook the spaghetti. Drain and transfer it to a serving bowl and toss with the butter or margarine.
When your eyeballs are done, remove them from the oven and spoon onto the spaghetti, irises up. Spoon sauce from the pan around them.
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Sulfuric Acid Swill (Fruit Drink)
Ingrediants
6 ounces - Frozen lemonade concentrate (partially thawed)
½ cup - Lemon juice
1 cup - Grapefruit juice (cold)
2 quarts - Lemon sherbet
1 quart - Club soda (cold)
Preparation
In a large pitcher, mix together the lemonade concentrate, lemon juice and grapefruit. Add to this the amount of water required on the lemonade can. Pour the liquid into tall glasses, filling them halfway, and add a scoop of lemon sherbet to each. Fill the glasses with club soda and serve immediately.
Just before serving, sprinkle the top of each glass with a pinch of lemon or lime-flavored powdered drink mix. Makes for a totally toxic-looking treat!
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Frankie's Toes (Chocolate Covered Pretzels)
Ingrediants
3 ounces - Semisweet chocolate
9 ounces - Pretzel nuggets
12 ounces - Beer nuts
Preparation
Carefully remove the thin sugar shells from the beer nuts and set aside. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or the microwave.
When the chocolate is melted, carefully insert a toothpick into each pretzel nugget, then dip the nugget into the melted chocolate. Be sure your pretzel (toe) is completely covered.
Place 1 sugar shell (toenail) on the end of each toe. Place on waxed paper to cool and repeat with as many toes as you desire.
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Toxic Tomatoes (Roasted Tomatoes)
Ingrediants
6 - Medium tomatoes
½ - Avocado (peeled, pitted and chopped)
4 ounces - Swiss cheese (grated)
6 - Fresh basil leaves (chopped) or 1 tablespoon - Dried basil
¼ teaspoon - Dried oregano
Preparation
Wash the tomatoes and cut them in half crosswise. Place the halves, open side up, on a cookie sheet.
In a small bowl, mash together the avocado (sludge), grated Swiss cheese, and basil (poisonous plant matter). Spoon the mixture on top of the tomatoes and sprinkle with oregano (fly wings). Broil the tomatoes for 5 minutes, or until sludge begins to ooze.
Carefully remove the tomatoes from the broiler and serve hot, or allow to cool slightly, and eat them with your hands.
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